Departures

"Breathe, Jade."

She tried to focus on her stimming in the panic attack, as the flat, regular motion of the flapping of her right hand gave her something to key into amongst the anxiety. She would be flapping both, but her left was firmly in her partner Lilac's grasp. Lilac gave her a gentle squeeze.

"It'll be okay, honey. You can do this."

Jade took a deep breath before responding to hir.

"I know I can, it's just..." she quickly transitioned the holding of hands into giving Lilac a tight hug, burying her head in her partner's chest.

"I've got you, love, let it all out," Lilac whispered softly.

Jade took hir up on the offer, babbling incoherently as she sobbed into hir chest, surrounded by her partner's soft embrace.

"I'm so scared I'm gonna get on that train and never see you again and we're already almost late for it and I'm scared I'm gonna miss it and I don't wanna lose you but I don't wanna miss my train and-"

Lilac squeezed Jade tighter.

"Jade, it's been so nice to have this time with you, but there's no way in fucking hell I'd ever let this be the only time, okay? I know how hard getting on that train alone is, it's so scary to leave, but you can do it. I believe in you."

Jade's breathing calmed down a bit at her partner's words, and she pushed herself up off hir.

"Th-thank you, I needed that. I love you so much." Jade stuttered out, tears still on her face.

"I love you too, my little puppy. And besides, it's not like you're gonna be completely without me~" shi replied, tugging gently at the extremely unsubtle dog collar around Jade's neck, prompting a soft blush to show through her still-wet cheeks.

"Now go get on that train, honey, you've still got another ten minutes to board."

Jade nodded softly, before getting her backpack readjusted and heading off towards the turnstile and quickly looking back.

"I love you so much, Lilac. Thank you..."

"I love you too, Jade."

The line to board and thankfully grab a window seat was all a blur to Jade, but as she sat staring out the dark window and calming herself down, she felt much better than before about the ride back.

"Y'know, Lilac's right," she thought, stimming with the heart-shaped tag on her collar, "even when shi's not here, I'm not alone."